I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
