is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
