somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
