Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
