I just saw a hot homeless man
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
