the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
