U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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