I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
