A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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