she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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