Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
