I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
