I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize