what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
