They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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