Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
