nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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