Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
