i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
