Just cropdusted the office
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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