evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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