dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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