Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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