just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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