What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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