I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
