You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
