I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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