my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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