I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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