party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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