yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
