You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
