Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
