can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
