he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
