So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
