Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
