So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
