Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
