He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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