I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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