Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
