You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
