there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
