i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
