How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
