mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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