grandma shit on top of the toilet
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
