The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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