my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
