Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
